Friday

In honor of Jamie’s birthday, the gang & I went to Dave & Buster’s in Maryland for an evening of drinkin’ and video game playin’. It was Jamie, Sharon, Kirk, Jennifer, Robby, Adam, Deanne, Joel and myself. This was my first time at D&B, and I must say I was quite impressed. There weren’t too many cool video games (I spent the majority of my $50 on the Star Wars Trilogy game and Skee Ball), but there was a great bar, restaurant, and billiards area. We pretty much stayed in the video game room, but that was cool.

I did pretty darn well at Skee Ball, and quickly won enough tickets to get a D&B shot glass. Skee Ball is now an absolute must for me when I come across it. I suppose everybody needs a forte.

Oh, and while I was at D&B, my condo was placed on the market.

Saturday

Once again, it was time to dress up in our Halloween costumes. One of Deanne’s co-workers was throwing a Halloween party at her place in Falls Church. Just like last time, I went as a goth/punk chick—only this time, I wasn’t all stressed out over my costume and rushing at the last minute to find materials. I had time to stop by the mall beforehand to accessorize (stud bracelets, necklace, boot laces, t-shirts). I even painted my nails black this time. Unfortunately, I still looked like a very ugly girl.

Maybe that’s a good thing.

The party was pretty hip & happenin’. Jamie, Sharon, Jason, Robby, Deanne, Adam, Joel, John and I walked in & blended right in. Everyone there was dressed up & thoughtfully costumed (unlike two weeks ago). Though there really wasn’t any “macking” potential (believe me, I checked), a very drunk girly couldn’t keep her hands off Adam, John and I.

Aside: It wasn’t totally unenjoyable. I must say, that’s the most action I’ve had in…

…days.

All in all, it was a fun party. Deanne, Adam, Robby, John & I ended up sticking around ‘til 3 or 4 in the morning (it’s so hard to tell, given the time change last night). Knowing I had to be up and ready by 9 AM this morning (for condo showing), I decided to stay up a little later when I got home to post some Halloween pics on my website. And what great pictures they are.

Maybe it’s lost its excitement or its appeal, but in the past two nights, I haven’t been all that eager to get buzzed or drunk. Money was surely the reason at D&B. But after consuming 3 beers early at the Halloween party, I didn’t drink again until way late, when I had a glass of wine. Maybe it’s because I’ve seen what awful effects it has on others.

Aside: I have no problem putting my hands all over the ladies, but I usually like to be sober at the time.

…that was a joke.

Seriously, I don’t think I could get drunk around strangers or in a strange place. At home or at my friends’ homes—no problem. But never when there are dominating x-factors, which are beyond my control. Call me paranoid, but I like to be in control.

Gradually, more and more things are disappearing from my condo. First, it was the elliptical machine. Then, the weight machine. And last night, my king-size bed & bedroom suit vanished. Tomorrow, my dining table, floor speakers and receiver will be departing.

There is much more room in my condo. The master & second bedrooms are almost completely empty. My office is crammed with items I’m selling on eBay. The only rooms that show no sign of my coming move are the main living/dining area, the kitchen and the two bathrooms. Even the walls are bare.

I slept on the floor last night. Lots of fun, as you can imagine. One night, I’m sleeping on a huge, comfortable bed, and the next, I’m on the floor with a couple of quilts.

My clothes are in boxes. I have no more dresser.

Don’t get me wrong. The more furniture disappears from my condo, the happier I become—the closer I get to paying off all my debt & receiving a butt-load of money from the sale of my condo.

The less I own, the easier it is for me to relocate. The easier it is for me to leave this place. The easier it is for me to start this dance all over again.

I’m going back to school. I’m going to get my Masters at GMU. I’m going to take two years to do it. I’m going to work somewhere easy for two years, while I get my Masters. Then I’m going to start my post-college life all over again. This time, do it better. Do it wisely. Do it right.

Two years. Get the education. Finish all the personal projects I’ve been determined to accomplish in this area. Graduate. Then do absolutely anything I want, anywhere I want to do it.

Two more years.

Saturday was a beautiful day. The sun was out and warm. The sky was clear and blue. The grass on the GMU lacrosse fields was lush and green.

The three fields were lined up next to each other, interrupted only by the softball field located between fields 1 and 2. Thick walls of incredibly tall trees quarantined the area—the leaves of each a different color: green, orange, brown, red. Aside from the row of cars parked up on the hillside, there was no sign of technology or access to the outside world. Just fields, trees, gravel walkways, and people.

There were about 8 to 10 schools attending this annual GMU Fall Lacrosse Tournament. It ran all day, from 9 AM to 4 PM. I’ve been coming to this tournament every year since my senior year in college. I’ve been coming to all the GMU women’s lacrosse home games since then. They are the only sports team I follow wholeheartedly, regardless of success—the only one that has any personal meaning to me. Going to the fall tournament and the regular season games in the spring is my annual tradition. No matter where I am in life or what issues I’m dealing with, the lacrosse games are a constant. I come back every year, and they put me in my place. They remind me of where I came from, before whatever financial and social successes have come my way since then. They bring me back to my roots. They give me perspective.

When I graduated college, I had nothing—no job, no money, no car, no goals, no ambition. But I was a part of a team. I assisted the lacrosse team and coach with publicity. I photographed their matches and trip to the CAA tournament in ’98. I used Broadside—the GMU student newspaper, to which I had many ties—to promote the team during their best season ever. It was my goal to fill the stadium with fans for every one of their home games. I did whatever I could do to help. The ’98 lacrosse season (and my college career, as a whole) ended on their last home game of the season, when the team presented me with a long-sleeve GMU lacrosse shirt & their heart-felt appreciation. It was one of those surreal, genuinely happy moments in my life. Something I’ll never forget or ever truly earn.

By now, such emotions have become silenced by time. The players I knew in 1998 have since graduated and left. There are only two remaining players I’m familiar with, as well as the coach. I figure, once those three are gone, there will be nothing left of my tradition other than the tradition itself. No one will know who I am—just that I come to all the games for one reason or another. They won’t know why. But I will.

There’s only one way I can do this. It’s gonna be painful and it’s gonna be lonely, but it’s nothing I haven’t experienced before. Times have unfortunately changed. My social life is on hold. Right now, it’s time to get down to business.

By COLLEEN GRAVES, Escargot 2 Hell

SOUTH RIDING, VIRGINIA (AP) – After only three weeks back at the Christian online message board, Decapolis, frequent and popular poster ‘Michael’ has decided to withdraw from the site for a second time this year.

Michael previously left in July of 2001 for unknown reasons, before returning in October. At a press conference this afternoon, Michael explained his current departure as being a time “to write new material.”

Michael’s three-week return in October—a whirlwind of laughs for some, an excruciating eternity for others—was a roller coaster ride of ups and downs. His new routine included brass sexual humor and unabashed “macking” with several of the site’s female participants. Some of his jokes went over well with the older members, but after a week and a half, Michael’s jokes began to fall flat. Gone was the quaint sexual innuendo that would “make the ladies blush”—a staple of his earlier work. In its place was graphic sexual talk that made ‘Darth Milhouse’ (a sexual pervert and moderator for the Decapolis message board) blush.

“Michael took it to the next level,” says Darth Milhouse, “He just didn’t seem to care what people thought of him. It’s strange, but some people were actually drawn to this new persona. I, myself, thought it wouldn’t hurt to take notes. However, when I was taking notes, I found myself accidentally drawing naked women on my paper. Isn’t that weird?”

Decapolis overlord (and Michael’s cousin), Conrad concurred: “I have no idea what goes on inside that head of his. I just tolerate his foolishness, because he’s my cousin. I wish he would go away. Yay.”

In defense of his new turn towards sexual and social bravado, Michael had this to say: “Self-depreciating humor is old. The kids are bored with making heroes out of wimps. They need a new hero—someone they can look up to. They need to see a strong man in the media—a very attractive man, who macks on the ladies and isn’t denied—a charming man with a wonderful sense of humor and great wit. That man is me.”

So, what’s in store for this ladies man in the coming months? “Lots of women,” he says, “…and Christmas presents.” Michael is tight-lipped about his future return to Decapolis. He’s just as secretive about the new material he’s working on. “Look for my new CD in the spring. It will contain all my greatest jokes from Decapolis, as well as some new stuff. I’ll also include some of the cover songs I’ve been recording in my spare time.” Michael is rumored to have recorded a stirring rendition of “Hot for Teacher” (Van Halen), as well as a very somber “Me So Horny” (2 Live Crew), which will appear on an all-star benefit album this December.

Though he will be away from Decapolis, he will still be reachable by email. “Beautiful ladies may contact me by email. Please don’t hesitate to contact me for spiritual advice or directions to my crib,” Michael stated at the close of his press conference.

Following the press conference, Michael took several of the press core back to his dressing room, where he dropped his façade, as well as his bathrobe. He proved—at least to this reporter—that he’s not all talk.