I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant today at lunch & I heard an advertisement on the radio for a local Harry Connick, Jr. show. When I got back to work, I did some detective work & discovered that he was playing two shows at Wolf Trap in Vienna next month. I never miss a Harry Connick, Jr. show. If he’s playing near me, I’m there.

I’ve seen Harry twice. Both times involved a girl who stepped into my life for a very short period of time.

Pamela

The first time I saw Harry was at George Mason University during the “Star Turtle” tour. Adam came with me, because I couldn’t find a date. I was a bit disappointed that Harry didn’t bring his big band (he was into that whole New Orleans funk thing at the time), but when I ran into Pamela at the show, I was trés happy.

Pamela was this awesome, tall/thin girl with cropped blond hair and an acerbic wit that would bite your head off. The first time I saw her was at a GMU orchestral performance in the Concert Hall. I was in the audience, and she was on stage, playing the French horn (I have another story about that, but I’ll save it for another time). She was dressed in all black, and at the bottom of her long, flowing skirt were two, 18-hole Doc Marten boots. Let me tell you… It was love at first sight.

A couple days later, I ran into her in one of Mason’s computer labs. I told her she did really well at the concert the other night, and she asked me how I could tell (a la Bill Murray & Sigourney Weaver in “Ghostbusters”). I didn’t see her for a while after that, but I couldn’t get her out of my mind. The following semester, I did something even I now consider insane. I signed up for the GMU orchestra as a percussionist. I personally hadn’t touched a drum, stick, or mallet since my 9th grade marching band. What can I say? I was a fool.

That first Monday night class was as awkward as could possibly be. Pam was slightly confused, and after half the class was over, the conductor asked me what I was doing there. I told him I wanted to be a percussionist, and he told me to take Symphonic Band (the band for beginners and morons). I did take Symphonic Band, because I was too proud to give up. And besides, the Symphonic Band and the Orchestra had two joint concerts during the semester. All I really wanted to do was play along with Pamela.

After the semester ended (and after several refused invitations to hang out), Pamela finally came around and decided to spend some time with me. She told me she had been dating all that time I was pining for her, but recently broke up with the dude. And that’s when our friendship started.

We started hanging out & getting to know each other well. I had just released the “Heroine” CD, and she said she wanted to be one of my Heroine girls. It was a little late, but we went ahead and did a photo shoot that week on campus. When I filmed the Ghoti Hook documentary that semester for one of my film classes, she was kind enough to interview the band members after one of their outdoor campus shows, while I filmed. Whenever there was something happening out on the Quad, we always skipped class, found each other, and sat down in the grass, making fun of all the sorority & frat dorks.

After I graduated (she was a year younger than I), we lost contact. I tried keeping our friendship alive with email, but it just wasn’t the same. The last I heard, she had broken her leg and was being stalked by an ex-boyfriend. I didn’t get any information after that. Finally, her email address became invalid, and all ties were severed.

Carmen

In January 2000, my co-worker Kelly set me up on a blind date with her friend Carmen. She and I went to the Warner Theater in D.C. to see Harry Connick, Jr. (and his big band) during a stop on his “Come By Me” tour. Carmen was a pleasant Latino woman, who was easy to talk with & made the situation very comfortable. We both loved the show and before we parted ways, we decided to have lunch sometime soon.

In the next few months, we had a couple of lunches together. I wasn’t interested in her romantically (those were the “Kelly years,” mind you), but rather as someone new I could spend time with and “do lunch” with. Carmen took a job as a waitress/actress at a local dinner theater over the summer, and Kelly and I went to see one of her performances. It turned into one of the worst experiences of my social/dating life. Kelly was very anti-social & made the time we sat there, watching the performance very uncomfortable. During intermission, she actually got up and left, telling me to take Carmen home. I watched the rest of the play, sitting alone at the table. After it was over, I stood around for about an hour, waiting for Carmen. Finally, she told me she got a ride & that I could go ahead and leave. I was so furious during the drive home, I said to hell with both those girls.

As time went on, the awkwardness between Kelly and I dissipated, and we renewed our friendship. As for Carmen, well, I haven’t seen or heard from her since.

Who’s Next?

So, Harry Connick, Jr. is playing May 21 and 22 in Vienna, VA. Who will I find to go with me? Will the past jinx of temporary friendships continue? I certainly hope not. Because all the people I’m planning to ask represent friendships I want to keep for a long, long time.

One year ago today was my final day at Roku Technologies. The company folded and left its workers out in the cold. We scattered, and each one of us looked to be the first to secure a new job in the ever-deteriorating job market. We were bitter. We hated Roku. We hated the management that kept secrets and cared little for its employees. Some of the more qualified workers (read: software developers) found jobs instantly. The rest of us went on unemployment and feared the worse. Some had spouses to take on the provider role temporarily. Others, like myself, were single and without a backup plan. Some had to sell their homes right away and make alternative living arrangements. Some were desperate. Some were miserable…and bitter…and homeless.

Me? I took the summer off. I started dating Siobhan. We went to Kings Dominion. We went to movies. We went to fancy restaurants. We had a lot of fun. For only a summer. At the end of the summer, I went to the beach (or two, really). Michelle and I went to Virginia beach for a week, then headed to Bethany beach with Adam and Deanne.

Sometime in September, I faced the music. I was unemployed and not getting any calls for interviews. I had used up all my savings on mortgage and bills, and had to start borrowing money from my father. In November, I decided that I truly had to sell my condo. Because of the bad economy, I wouldn’t get as much money from the sale as I normally would have, but the value had risen incredibly since I bought it, so I wasn’t too worried about it.

I didn’t have a single offer on my condo until February. It was a terrific offer. They matched my asking price & offered to pay all closing costs. It seemed like I could have asked for more, but I took it as a sign to get rid of the place right then and there. I sold my place, got a ton of money, and moved in with my sister and brother-in-law in Centreville. With the money I made on the condo, I paid off all my credit cards (which had accumulated to over $20,000). I took a breath of fresh air and was overjoyed to be starting from scratch with my life once again—hopefully, much wiser when it came to money matters.

Less than two months later, I was offered a job at GTSI in Chantilly. I accepted, and my first day was April 1—April Fools Day. Every aspect of my life has been jump-started. I have no money stress and I am free in the evenings and the weekends to do whatever my heart desires.

As many of my friends made plans to leave the area, I met more and more new friends at McLean Bible Church (and on Decapolis). There is currently a major shift occurring in my social life, and while I don’t know exactly how it will turn out, God has given me the peace to trust Him.

It’s been one year since the fall of Roku. I was unemployed for almost an entire year. Now, I’m back where I started—in the office, working toward the weekend, but so many things have changed. So many people have come and gone from my life. My attitudes and desires have been transformed. My financial debt has been erased. My surroundings have been altered. And my goals in life have been refocused.

But through it all, there has been one God directing my feet and leading me down this winding path.

The world is wrapped in cellophane plastic. I poke the wrapping and the earth moves away. I poke it harder, but the plastic does not break. The earth falls silently, further and further away. I turn around to face the black void of space. I dive into the sea of stars and swim past the galaxies and into the darkness. With every stroke, I travel light years away. I close my eyes and wait to collide.

I went to my local grocery store—for the first time since moving—yesterday after work. I go to a ghetto Giant in Fairfax City (Jermantown & 50). It’s not as close to my place as the local Food Lion, but I like it better. When I was done shopping and on my way to the check-out counter, I ran into Jen—a co-worker of Deanne’s & occasional event attendee (pictured—on the left—at the Metro Café). Previous to the Metro show, I had only seen her twice. Once at our “White Trash Christmas” party, and then at her Halloween party. The first time, she was dressed as a West Virginia ho (preppy, but skanky), and the second time, she was dressed as Batgirl on heroin. It was nice to finally see her, as she truly is. We chatted for a bit, then said goodbye.

I’ve never run into a friend at the grocery store before. It was such a normal, everyday kind of occurrence, but I was pleased to have finally experienced it for myself. Just stopping in the aisle, talking, and making other people maneuver around us—it was simple, but fun. Americana.

I got a letter from my dear friend Kelly yesterday. Kelly and I used to work together at Roku. I was head over heels for her for two entire years. Just before the company folded, she quit and moved to California. She and I had gone on a couple of dates, but nothing ever developed. During those two years, she was my reason for waking up. I looked forward to getting to work early, seeing her and being there until she left. I wasn’t hanging out much with the Ghoti group. My social life was basically Doug, Jeff and Conrad (but only occasionally). The rest of my life was spent working at Roku and with Rich.

Because of the very casual environment at Roku (read: dorm room), I was able to spend a lot of time in Kelly’s office talking and joking around. Her room was incredibly daft. We decorated it with Britney Spears and Pokemon posters, as well as Jimmy Buffet-esque beach trinkets. For Christmas one year, I gave her her own personalized domain name, and we had fun setting up her website.

At the time of Roku’s final days, Kelly and I weren’t seeing much of each other. I got moved over to our second building across the street (the corporate building with all the executives, etc.). Once that happened, my friendship with Siobhan began. But even so, when Kelly told me she was moving to California, I suddenly felt completely empty. I knew there was still a huge amount of untapped potential in our friendship—potential, I feared, that would never become realized. On her very last day at work, I walked her out to her car and regretfully said goodbye. She drove out of the parking lot and to San Diego the next day.

Sometime in mid-summer, Kelly and I began an email correspondence. I congratulated her on her new job, and she encouraged me in my unemployment. The funny thing was that we were both experiencing the same dilemma in our lives—we were both dating non-Christians. Kelly and I knew that we were both Christians, but we never talked about God during our time at Roku. It wasn’t until we were on opposite sides of the country, that we felt comfortable (and mature) enough to get serious with our conversations. She was truthful with me, and I was truthful with her. We bore each other’s burdens and we gave each other godly advice. There have only been two other people in my life, whom I’ve felt comfortable enough with to talk so candidly about sensitive and personal issues, as well as God’s will concerning them. To even seriously discuss God’s will with someone else—period—is a feat for me. Not that I don’t want to do that 24/7—I just don’t have that kind of relationship with anyone else.

It was through these deeper discussions with Kelly that I began to cherish our friendship more and more. I had moved from a surface fascination with her to an in-depth appreciation of her. She may live on the other side of the country—and we may not communicate now as often as I’d like—but if I was to make a list of my closest friends throughout my lifetime, she would be right there towards the top. My life has played out in such a way, that I truly don’t have anyone I could call my best friend. However, I do have people in my life, who God has placed there to be a great support and encouragement for me in my walk with Christ. Kelly is one of them. She’s someone I trust with my honest thoughts—someone I feel comfortable being vulnerable with. As I said before, there have only been a handful of individuals I could say that about (Carol being one during college, plus one or two now with the potential of being so).

In her letter to me yesterday, she told me that her company was closing up shop, and she was out of a job. Déjà vu. (If it’s not one of us unemployed, it’s the other.) But rather than looking for another job, she had decided to go on a missions trip to Africa for two weeks this summer. She asked me for prayer—as well as financial—support. This, of course, was perfect timing, because I am now just about to implement my monthly tithing regime. While I’d love to give my tithing money to McLean Bible, I am absolutely thrilled to directly support a good friend of mine in her missions work.

Kelly—who is also the webmaster for her church’s “post modern” twenty-something service called Flood—has really developed into a true servant of God. While I miss her and wish she still lived in Virginia, I am so appreciative of God for allowing her to discover her part in His plan and giving her such a godly & willing heart to follow through.

I will definitely be praying for her throughout her entire trip, as well as writing out a check for her this week. May God bless her.