There is a serious lack of role models in my life. Not that I really need any, mind you. I just think it would be something cool to have. Living life is always easier when you can model it off of someone else’s life. Before graduating college, life was simple. You had a model for life—go to school, get good grades, and graduate. Once you’re out, you no longer have a roadmap for life.

I try to find heroes in the areas I’m interested in and attempt to learn from their mistakes and successes—whether that be in the high-tech world, the comic industry, sports, literature, film, etc. I always latch onto someone to act as an unsuspecting mentor in whatever field I’m pursuing. That’s good for a while, because I get an inside look into a world through their eyes. …But after a while, these heroes always seem to disappoint me somehow. Sometimes it’s through their actions. Other times it’s through their words. Maybe they’ll say something that exposes a hidden personality flaw, or maybe they’ll blast something that I hold dear.

I’m an artsy Conservative Christian jock. That’s probably one of the smallest minorities on the planet. No matter where I go, I rarely find wholly like-minded peers. The few heroes I have in any one area never seem to be compatible with all the others. What I end up with are a bunch of minor heroes that I don’t really respect.

Sometimes there’ll be people like Bill O’Reilly and Sam Raimi, who I totally respect and admire and don’t yet have a reason not to. Other times, there will be people I admire for one thing they do, but could never fully support him or her because of their attitude towards another one of my strong attributes.

Obviously, not everyone is perfect—including me. And I probably shouldn’t base whether I respect someone on whether the person is exactly like me. That’s like saying I only respect myself and people who remind me of myself. That’s vain, right?

You basically have three categories of people or heroes…

1) People who are just like me.
2) People who aren’t like me or the person I want to (or should) be.
3) People who are like the person I want to (or should) be.

It’s comfortable being around people who are just like me—or admiring them as heroes. They reaffirm my life, and make me feel good about where I’m at. There’s no confrontation and no stress.

It’s interesting and sometimes fun to be around people who aren’t like me and represent ideals I strongly disagree with. I like to debate and confront ideologies that I believe are wrong. I like being the underdog in situations and fighting back. Sports are great for me, because I’m highly competitive. That translates well into the business world, as well. And that’s a large reason why I engage in online communities. It’s good to be around people you disagree with and be in competitive situations, because you accomplish two things… You learn more about the situation/topic and build strength and confidence in your own position. Iron sharpens iron. But in the end, you get weary of all the confrontation and regret not having like-minded peers. Which is where I’m at now, I guess.

I think the solution is in the third category of folks… The people/heroes that represent the person I should and want to be. If I can find people like that to surround myself with and look up to, I’d really be set. To become like a person you are not represents a challenge—a striving towards a goal. That’s where the competitiveness comes in. The goal is something I want and agree with, so there is no fatigue factor.

…

If you haven’t noticed, this writing is all train-of-thought. I’ve gone from respectable heroes, to peers, to hack sociology. I think I decided to post this because I was disappointed with myself for looking up to people, who ultimately wanted nothing to do with me. And it’s because I don’t fit into their niche—because I’m not like-minded. As if being surrounded by like-minded people all the time is beneficial. Personally, I like diversity. But the diversity I should be seeking is in groups of people who are like me and like the kind of person I want to be—not around people who aren’t like me or the person I want to be. I think that would make me a happier, more satisfied man.

The end.

I am a Conservative.

Your PERSONAL issues Score is 30%.
Your ECONOMIC issues Score is 70%.

CONSERVATIVES tend to favor economic freedom, but frequently support laws to restrict personal behavior that violates “traditional values.” They oppose excessive government control of business, while endorsing government action to defend morality and the traditional family structure. Conservatives usually support a strong military, oppose bureaucracy and high taxes, favor a free-market economy, and endorse strong law enforcement.

Take the f’ing quiz.

I’ve spent the past few hours watching all the wonderful shows on my PC. I used to never watch TV, because programming my VCR is a pain—plus, I never know when anything’s on. Now, whenever I have some free time, or when I want to exercise, I just check out the list of shows in the queue and watch a few.

Right now, my favorite shows are Teen Titans and Totally Spies. They’re both on Cartoon Network and are lots of fun. They’re short, too—which is convenient. Plus the animation is top notch. I’m also recording Justice League Unlimited, South Park (the election episode was hilarious), Sealab 2021, Harvey Birdman Lawyer, Tim Russert, O’Reilly Factor, The OC, Lost, Arrested Development, Enterprise and Simpsons.

Is it wrong that at this moment, my iTunes is playing a Dixie Chicks song, and I’m enjoying it? Politics aside, I can’t help but admit that I love the Dixie Chicks’ music. I think I’m going to put together an “Election Day” compilation CD of all the liberal musical artists that I actually like… Dixie Chicks, Bruce Springsteen, Bangles, Beastie Boys, Pearl Jam, Eminem, Barenaked Ladies, John Mellencamp, Moby (w/ Gwen S.)… Then end the compilation with a couple of rockin’ Bush songs like “Everything Zen” and “Machine Head.”

I swear, I was so close to going with my second Halloween costume idea. It would have been hilarious. I was going to dress up like Osama bin Ladin (robes, turban, etc.) and wear a giant “Vote for Kerry” button on my chest—or carry a “Vote for Kerry” sign. …That would have been awesome. I’d be mobbed by all the liberals at the kickball Halloween party on Saturday.

I now have all the pieces of my Halloween costume. I just have to make some alterations, and I’m set.

Because I had to take Jamie to the airport, I didn’t make it to the soccer game. I actually headed over there after I was done at Ranger Surplus—just in case they ran late. Alas, the game was over, and people were streaming out of the parking lot. Being there to see the field was a good first step, I guess—seeing as how I haven’t made any GMU sporting events this year.

Speaking of soccer, I think the Frontline coed indoor soccer team in Fairfax is about to begin its fall season. They need a goalie, and I think I may just be the person for the job. Soccer is one sport I’ve always wanted to play, but I needed the opportunity to play in an adult beginner environment. This may just be it. Now that kickball, softball and tennis are just about done for the season, my calendar is looking mighty empty. I’m hoping to do indoor soccer and indoor tennis throughout the winter.

I spent the entire day today editing tennis photos. My goal was to find 5-10 of the best photos from the week, but I ended up compiling over a hundred decent photos. I submitted 70 to the USTA (they can be found on my website). Here’s my absolute favorite pic of the bunch…

…Wouldn’t that make a great Tennis magazine cover?

This is my first journal update using my new PC. I’m actually using Microsoft Word 2003 (and Office 2003) for the very first time. It’s good stuff. I still have to install my network printer, scanner, and all my various software—including my Adobe suite. First on the agenda today is to edit and send 5-10 pictures of the tennis tournament to the USTA for a presentation they’re doing this weekend.

Second on the agenda is getting the final pieces of my Halloween costume. I should be receiving one part in the mail today, and the other item will be at Ranger Surplus in Fairfax sometime today. I’ll pick it up before the soccer game at GMU tonight. As for what my costume is, you’ll just have to wait and see.

I was at Brion’s Grille last night, watching the baseball game and downing a few beers. There were two girls sitting next to me at the bar. We got to talking, and they were very cool. I thought there was maybe something there… Until they both put cigarettes in their mouths. Now, I’m not judging smokers, but I will probably never in my life date one. It’s just one of those things. Around the fifth inning of the game, I got up and left.

Within my post office box was a letter from the NRA. I opened it when I got home. I already knew what it was going to say. If I had gotten the job, I would have received a phone call or an e-mail for some sort of follow-up. Instead I got a single-page letter telling me that I had an impressive background, but they went with someone with more professional writing/editing experience. My expertise and background is mostly in computers—graphics and programming. I can’t say that I’m disappointed. There were many things about the job I was uncomfortable with, such as the dress code, strict work hours, traffic, and the fact that my desk would be in the middle of a hallway. I also wasn’t comfortable being in a super-Conservative, hunting environment. I’m okay with the NRA and guns in general, but my interest lies in home defense, law enforcement, and military. I couldn’t care less about hunting. I also wanted to get involved in the politics side of the NRA—lobbying and that sort of thing. The position I applied for was completely devoid of politics. …So, in the end, I made a new contact at the NRA (the Frontline guy), and I know more about the work environment there (in case I want to apply for another position).

I can finally sync my iPod with my MP3 collection. I did so, and it seemed easy enough. Unfortunately, the naming convention of the majority of my MP3s doesn’t match the naming convention of iTunes, so more than half of my collection (of over 4,500 songs) appears as “Unknown Artist” and “Unknown Album.” So, I can’t even pick up my iPod and decide to listen to Ladytron (for instance), because a Ladytron artist doesn’t show up. I have to go through 2,500 songs, listen to them, and at least enter an artist name for each one (album names will come later). It’s a serious pain in the ass. …But once it’s done, I think I’ll be happy with iTunes, my iPod, and the eventual iPod integration in my BMW (which will cost about $350). 20GB of music anywhere I go is very cool.

I have the Dead Milkmen’s “Punk Rock Girl” as my ringtone. That rules.