Michael Tolosa

Ever since I was a teenager, I’ve wanted to have sex. But for one reason or another, I never have. Whether it was my own resolve to remain abstinent (less likely) or God providentially keeping me from making that mistake (more likely), it was a teenage fantasy that never materialized even in adulthood.

This might be hard to believe for some who know me. There was a time recently when I was trained to be a pickup artist. After the mid-2000’s, I was certainly capable of meeting and attracting women. And I often did – on my own, or in groups of like-minded men. Prior to that time, I had the nerve, but not the game (not at all, as other friends can attest to).

One or two years ago, at the height of my pickup days, I would have been totally embarrassed to admit that I was still a virgin. But not today. I’m neither proud, nor embarrassed of the fact – though I am tremendously relieved. Relieved that I have never gone far enough in any previous relationship to lose the “V” label.

Previous girlfriends wanted to have sex at times when I was determined not to. When I was willing, the girl wasn’t. Etcetera. Even during my pickup days, I wasn’t interested in having sex. I wanted to simply improve my social skills and get over the fear of talking to strangers. It was all a lesson in social dynamics for me, not a shortcut to sex.

Now that I’m engaged and two days away from my wedding, I’m so thankful to God for keeping me from this particular sexual sin. Never in my marriage with Megan will I be able to compare her to other women from my past. I imagine that’s an important ingredient in a happy marriage.

Many gifts will be given on Saturday. But for me, there’s no greater gift I can give my wife on our wedding day than my sexual purity.

If you knew in advance that your team was going to win the Super Bowl, how boldly would you cheer for them during the season? During the playoffs? During the Big Game?

We tend not to be bold in our sports predictions, because we’ll lose face if we’re wrong. But if we knew for certain who would win, we would tell the world who we were rooting for, bet all the money we had, and be the proudest, wealthiest person in the world when our team wins it all.

Well, here’s a news flash… God wins in the end.

Jesus WILL return and establish His Kingdom. He WILL separate the wheat from the chaff and throw the chaff into the fire. This is a fact. This is what is going to happen when Jesus returns. Every Christian should know this with 100% certainty.

The problem is we don’t have faith in what the Bible says to be true. Though we think Jesus triumphs in the end, we don’t live our lives in a way that expresses this belief. Instead, we look around us and see a world that does not believe in Jesus or obey Him as Lord, so we become bashful and keep our beliefs to ourselves. We certainly don’t want to go out on a limb expressing these beliefs, then find out we’re wrong. That would be embarrassing.

We also see life as an 80-year process. It’s a long road — so we’ll get to the religion stuff towards the end. Assuming we live that long. Because EVERYONE dies of old age, right?

Well, here’s another news flash… The end is near.

Does that sound fanatical? Do I sound like a crazy person on the sidewalk with a cardboard sign? That’s what John the Baptist sounded like — and we see what happened with his prediction.

Faith is being bold about a truth only you seem to know. Being willing to be perceived by those around you as a crazy person. Accepting the fact that you will be mocked and discriminated against — and being okay with that, because you know, in the end, you’ll be on the winning side.

“For whoever is ashamed of Me and My words in this adulterous and sinful generation, the Son of Man will also be ashamed of him when He comes in the glory of His Father with the holy angels.” – Mark 8:38

How differently would you live your life, if you knew Jesus was coming tomorrow? What would you stop doing? What would you start doing? If He was coming over for dinner, what would you discard from your house? If He was going to review your personal finances, what expenses would you try to hide? How much more would you tithe? If He asked you how you spent your time, what would you honestly say? What would you like to say?

Here are two certainties: 1) You are going to die, or 2) Jesus will return before you die. Either way, the end is near. You have about 80 total years on this earth to know God, obey Him, and make Him known to others.

What are you waiting for? It’s time to go all in.

I have a bike I’m trying to sell. It’s brand new and never used — so to me, it’s worth exactly what I paid for it (about four hundred dollars). But to a complete stranger, it’s old and “used,” so it’s probably only worth about three hundred dollars. I’ve resold many items in my lifetime, including books, DVDs, video games, and comics. And what I’ve come to understand is that something is only as valuable as what someone else is willing to pay for it. I could tell you that I own a hard-to-find collectible that’s worth hundreds of dollars, but if the only buyer I can find is not willing to pay more than twenty-five bucks for it, it’s only worth twenty-five bucks.

In the same way, a human life is only as valuable as what someone will pay for it. Couples pay twenty thousand dollars to adopt or artificially conceive a child. Wealthy relatives pay millions to ransom their kidnapped loved ones. And an individual will make any payment required to get the surgery he needs to stay alive. In fact, there’s probably no more valuable object in this universe than a human life.

But the world sometimes forgets this and puts the value of selfish comfort, business, natural resources, land, and politics above human life — which has been the cause of wars and bloodshed throughout history. In these cases, human life doesn’t really seem valuable at all. It seems that life is valued on a relative scale. Sometimes it’s of value, and sometimes it’s worthless. Is there any way to know for sure the value of life?

I believe so. Again, the value of something is based on how much someone is willing to pay for it. One Man paid the ultimate price in order to save the lives of many.

Jesus Christ, the Son of God, came to Earth in human form in order to live a perfect life, die a physical death, and pay the ultimate spiritual price of receiving God’s wrath upon himself, so that you and I could be freed from the penalty of our sins and live eternally with Him in Heaven.

In John 3:16, it says, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” It says in Romans 5:8 that, “God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.”

Don’t miss what that verse in Romans says… “while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.” That means when we were still hostile towards God and religion and couldn’t care less about Jesus, He still died for us.

Do you want to know what your value is? While the people you walk past in the mall, or the people driving on the highway beside you, or even the country’s government all seem to see you as nothing more than an obstacle, nuisance, or money source, there is Someone who values you above His own life. As unlovely as you and I feel each day, there is Someone who loves you immensely — a Friend who sticks closer than a brother (Proverbs 18:24). Jesus loves you, even when others don’t.

You are more valuable than you know. Jesus didn’t die for a political cause, or to acquire land, wealth, resources, or power. Jesus died for you. So that you could live.

You’re that valuable.

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.
- Matthew 11:28-30

The next 90 days will be a lonely time for me. Not to say the past four years haven’t been. But to be so close to having godly companionship in recent weeks makes its imminent absence all the more potent.

I will be forsaking dating for the next three months. Not by choice, but by necessity. And while the prospect of going it alone is disappointing, I am encouraged by the fact that I’ve so recently flourished during a 4-month abstinence of worldly pleasures and can only hope this 3-month time of solitude will yield similar results.

I don’t believe God is done working with me. I think the circumstance I find myself in today is just another test of faith He’s placed in my life this year.

Since May, He has tested my commitment in many areas of life… my material possessions, my finances, my time, my church attendance/membership, my accountability to and fellowship with members of the Church, my struggle with lust and covetousness, my vocation, and my daily communion with God through Bible reading and prayer. One of the last areas in my life that has not been under the authority of Christ has been my dating life. And that seems to be the next step.

Like Abraham, God provided me with my heart’s desire after much prayer and sacrifice. But it was only to show me how He could bless me, if I made Him lord over everything in my life. Today, when He asked me to forsake the very thing I desired most for a season, I felt like Abraham did, when God told him to sacrifice his one and only son, Isaac — the one thing Abraham loved most.

I can only hope that I’ll show the same faith Abraham did, when he trusted God and was willing to sacrifice his son in obedience to God. I believe the next 90 days is my time to sacrifice my hopes and dreams and trust God that, in the end, he will provide.

It may seem today like the next three months will be a lonely time for me. But looking at the past year, I’m confident God is eager to use this time to sanctify and shape me into a more effective servant. After stripping away all the distractions in my life, I am forced to turn completely towards God. I have no other option but to spend time in prayer and reading His Word. He’s left me with nothing else.

If I can focus on God, I’m confident He’ll have something abundantly greater than I could have hoped or dreamed for on the other side of these 90 days.

Now to him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.
- Ephesians 3:20-21

I’m currently in the 4th month of a television blackout. I started at the beginning of May 2009. After selling off the majority of my DVDs, all of my video games (and game systems), and other visual media, I haven’t had the desire to consume television programming.

I thought this would change once the NFL preseason started. For the first Redskins game of the preseason, I turned my TV on for the first time in 4 months, watched a couple of plays, then turned it off promptly once the first commercial began to roll.

Being away from television programming and advertisements for 4 months has made me very sensitive to the purpose and affect of advertising. I couldn’t even stand to watch one commercial, because it seemed so contrary to the life and worldview I’ve been establishing and fostering for the past 4 months.

My life this summer has been all about detaching myself from the love of material possessions, living a minimalistic lifestyle, and finding complete satisfaction and fulfillment from knowing and serving God.

The whole point of advertising is to make you dissatisfied with your life. Advertising takes advantage of your materialistic tendancies — the lust of the eyes, the lust of the flesh, and the pride of life — all things the Bible warns you about.

Advertising promotes exactly the wrong things in life. Especially the advertisements you’ll see during football games. Whether it’s sex, cars, or wealth/retirement, these advertisements have nothing to offer the Christian man or woman, but hindrances to their spiritual walk.

And it’s only after being away from it for 4 months, that I can see advertising for what it is. Which is why I encourage every Christian to take an extended break from television — a “fast” if you will — to break away from the psychological hold advertising has in your life.

Not only will a fast from advertising help you be more content with the life you have, but the absence of television in your life will free up your time for other — more noble — things like family, reading, and prayer.

I didn’t set out to take an extended break from television. But I’m glad it’s turned out that way. I’m going to try and increase this 4-month blackout to an entire year. Yes, that means I’ll miss the NFL season, and yes, that means I’ll miss my favorite shows. But the time I’ll now have for daily Bible reading, prayer, friendships, and family will be more precious than anything television has to offer.